Презентация на тему The Problem of Pastoral Pornography

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The Problem of Pastoral PornographySeventh-Day Adventist Theological Seminary Thursday AssemblyDavid Sedlacek, PhDSeptember 15, 2011

The Problem of Pastoral Pornography

Seventh-Day Adventist Theological Seminary Thursday Assembly
David Sedlacek, PhD
September 15, 2011


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The Scope of the ProblemA 2001 Leadership Survey revealed that 40% of

The Scope of the Problem

A 2001 Leadership Survey revealed that 40% of the clergy struggle with pornography.
20% of the calls on the pastoral helpline of Focus on the Family relate to pornography.
33% of clergy have visited a sexually explicit website.
53% of these visited the website several times, up to weekly in the past year.
30% of pastors look at pornography in the past 30 days.


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The Scope of the Problem28% of spouses know about the problem.37% of

The Scope of the Problem

28% of spouses know about the problem.
37% of pastors say pornography is currently a problem.
30% of clergy do not talk with anyone about it.
69% have prayed about the problem.
4% have gotten professional help.
10% of the calls on pastoral help lines are from women, many of these women clergy.


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Clergy Risk Factors History of sexual abuse including viewing pornography as a

Clergy Risk Factors

History of sexual abuse including viewing pornography as a child.
Immature understanding of sexuality.
A family history where rules are stressed more than relationships, loneliness, depression.
Acceptance has historically been received through spiritual achievement.
A cyber sex addict who enters ministry to cope with their addiction.


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Special Considerations and Characteristics of PastorsPastoral Role: Many who are insecure crave

Special Considerations and Characteristics of Pastors

Pastoral Role:
Many who are insecure crave the “special status” of being a pastor.
Some fall into “pastoral codependency”, i.e., needing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of others.
Accessibility, anonymity, and affordability of on-line pornography.


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Special Considerations and Characteristics of PastorsVocational Consequences:High expectations of pastors to lead

Special Considerations and Characteristics of Pastors

Vocational Consequences:
High expectations of pastors to lead exemplary lives
There is intense on-the-job emotional stress
Fears of losing their jobs leads to silence
Silence leads to a continuation of the problem
Pastoral Isolation:
Many pastors have a lot of time alone. They structure their own schedules.
Many are lonely with few friends


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Special Considerations and Characteristics of PastorsPastoral Narcissism:GrandiositySelf-serving behaviorCharisma – Adrenaline high from

Special Considerations and Characteristics of Pastors

Pastoral Narcissism:
Grandiosity
Self-serving behavior
Charisma – Adrenaline high from preaching
Need for praise and affirmation
Need to be listened to


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Special Considerations and Characteristics of PastorsSpiritual Immaturity:Tendency to engage in black or

Special Considerations and Characteristics of Pastors

Spiritual Immaturity:
Tendency to engage in black or white thinking
Tendency to blame others when things go wrong
Illusion that they won’t get caught
Belief that the good they do cancels out their bad behavior
Accountability:
Lack of submission to authority
No accountability group


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Special Considerations and Characteristics of PastorsAnger:Passive aggressive anger at women expressed as

Special Considerations and Characteristics of Pastors

Anger:
Passive aggressive anger at women expressed as manipulative and seductive behavior
Anger at God related to overwork and perception that God is not helping them
Sense of Entitlement:
I deserve to have, to do, to get . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


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Special Considerations and Characteristics of PastorsRelationship Struggles:Pastoral ministry places tremendous strain on

Special Considerations and Characteristics of Pastors

Relationship Struggles:
Pastoral ministry places tremendous strain on marriages.
Performance oriented pastors often blame their wives for the problems they have.
Presence of other Addictions:
19% alcohol
38% food
88% work


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Common Pastoral RationalizationsNeed for rewardJustification for hard work in ministryWife who doesn’t

Common Pastoral Rationalizations

Need for reward
Justification for hard work in ministry
Wife who doesn’t care
Long hours in ministry
Pornography doesn’t hurt anyone. No one gets an STD. No one gets pregnant.
It’s only curiosity, it won’t turn into a problem.
It will enhance my outreach to others.


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Symptoms of a ProblemUnmanageability and loss of controlEngaging in behavior you know

Symptoms of a Problem

Unmanageability and loss of control
Engaging in behavior you know violates your moral values
Unsuccessful attempts to stop
Rationalization
Fantasy
Neuro-chemical tolerance
Using sex to change mood; either to elevate mood or to relax


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Symptoms of a ProblemStress triggers sexual behaviorRituals become establishedThe acting out behavior

Symptoms of a Problem

Stress triggers sexual behavior
Rituals become established
The acting out behavior occurs
It is important to understand that relapse occurs long before acting out occurs. Relapse occurs first in the mind, and then in the behavior.


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Treatment for Sex AddictionTo deal with neuro-chemical intolerance, a period of total

Treatment for Sex Addiction

To deal with neuro-chemical intolerance, a period of total sexual abstinence of from 30 – 90 days is recommended (spouse must be in agreement). This counteracts the addict’s belief that sex is the most important need.
Test for Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Develop a strong self-care plan
Get tested for ADHD.


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Treatment for Sex AddictionEngage in a 12 Step Program of recoveryGet a

Treatment for Sex Addiction

Engage in a 12 Step Program of recovery
Get a computer filter where you do not have the password
Get trauma treatment if necessary
Address the relational problems through support groups and marital counseling
Obtain spiritual and accountability support through a pastoral group


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Returning to MinistryThe reality is that even today most clergy found to

Returning to Ministry

The reality is that even today most clergy found to have sexual addiction/pornography problems are dismissed from the ministry.
If return is to be considered, there should be at least one year of sobriety from addictive behavior.
There must be a working accountability plan.
The faith community must be supportive.


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Ideas for Addressing the Issue of Sexuality in the Church CommunityPreach about

Ideas for Addressing the Issue of Sexuality in the Church Community

Preach about sexuality openly but sensitively
Hold workshops in the church on sexuality
Build accountability groups into the church structure
Focus on this issue as a part of a singles ministry, youth ministry and couples ministry


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Helping ResourcesKettering Clergy Care CenterBarnabus Christian Counseling Network (www.barbabus.com)www.pureintimacy.orgwww.stonegateresources.comwww.estherministries.org (outreach to wives

Helping Resources

Kettering Clergy Care Center
Barnabus Christian Counseling Network (www.barbabus.com)
www.pureintimacy.org
www.stonegateresources.com
www.estherministries.org (outreach to wives of sexually addicted ministers)
The Lodge Retreat Center (Buchanan, MI)


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Helping ResourcesHealing the Wounds of Sex Addiction by Mark LaaserBreaking the Silence:

Helping Resources

Healing the Wounds of Sex Addiction by Mark Laaser
Breaking the Silence: A Pastor Goes Public about his Battle with Pornography by Bernie Anderson
Every Man’s Battle by Steve Arterburn
False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggles of Sexual Addiction by Harry Schaumburg
Clinical Management of Sex Addiction by Patrick Carnes


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Add the following Key texts“I will set nothing wicked before my eyes”

Add the following Key texts

“I will set nothing wicked before my eyes” Psalm 101:3

“Direct my steps by Your word, and let no iniquity have dominion over me.” Psalm 119:133

“O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it alltogether.” Psalm 139: 1-4
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality” I Thessalonians 4:3